Wednesday, 15 January 2014

Sickness in Slumber

Attack of The Stomach Bug
Answering emails in the office, when I get a niggle in my stomach. Without thought I glance at the computer clock, look at that, it's 2pm! I'm probably hungry right? The kitchen is a warm welcome to hunger pangs, moulding a home made sub from brown bread, cheese and mayonnaise, maybe could have done without the mayo but butter would have been too plain. It seems after every bite, instead of the rumbles in my stomach vanishing they get stronger, so much so by the time I finish I'm almost in agony!
Without warning I make a dash for the bathroom, from this moment on it's downhill only!

The evening is spent with my son Rohan by my side, he's somehow grown up in the last hour by stroking my face and hugging me gently as if he knows this is exactly what I wanted, I'm transported back to the time's of a little girl, curled up in my parents bed with mother by my side, stroking my face until I fall asleep. How this 17month old has managed to make me feel this all over again, has astonished me? 
But before I know it I'm back in the bathroom again. Rohan waits outside the door for me, knocking with the cutest "Heyo" you will ever hear. He's only privy to a small vocabulary at the moment, as most 1 year olds are, but he says so much with just one word! When I finally come out of the bathroom, I ask if he can bring me the Ipad to message Daddy, not really thinking he'll understand and I'll probably just end up lying in bed trying to stir up the courage to establish some way of outside contact. Oh yes, I haven't mentioned it's just Rohan and I at home, but you probably realized that already.
To my amazement about two minutes later he arrives in our bedroom with the Ipad in hand. For the next almost 2 hours he sat with me until Ralph got home. I felt so loved by this quality time with my son and what normally is my role, he took on.
So when Rohan came down with it the next day, you can imagine I was heartbroken. 
It came on a lot like mine, unexpected. He was fine and then he had a temperature, not chipper little Rohan any more. The pains in his stomach started and I watched helplessly as he scrunched up his knees and bent to the ground to relieve it. I dragged us both into bed, asked Ralph to make a hot water bottle, to relax his stomach along with the medicine. We found Calpol brought the temperature down but gripe water eased the stomach. Not just for colic eh! We spent our day and night in the cream walled solitary confinement I call the master bedroom. Staring at the blank ceiling when we weren't watching Disney movies or sleeping. I noticed how lacking in design and d├ęcor my room was, how it needed a little TLC, a bit like Rohan and I. But we were cared for, Ralph waited on us hand and foot, making sure we had warm water bottles, cold compresses, medicine top ups and anything to eat that we could keep down. I was delighted when Rohan started to spark up a bit and wanted to get up and play, it made me forget that I was still unwell, until I over did it and ended up having to go back to bed. He kept coming to check on me whenever he got too overworked and needed a rest.
When Rohan wasn't with me I felt a bit helpless, letting my motherly duties down. But why? He was in capable hands with Ralph. I found myself trying to get up whenever I heard him and then being "yelled" at to get back to bed. Of course I sat there twiddling my thumbs, mind racing with chores I needed to do, ideas for the shop, blog, photos, and everything else! My camera called to me, I was still knocking about the thought of how bland our bedroom looked. How "clean" feeling it was, like a hospital bedroom, just 2x smaller. I started to take photos of what I could see that needed an upgrade, some influence of life.

When I wasn't documenting boredom I was reading, or checking emails online. Rest is such a funny word, if you think about it, it has many definitions. I did sleep. But I felt like I wasn't being productive enough with my time, I could still take it easy without having to sleep right?

The Midwife by Jennifer Worth is my choice of reading at the moment. Worth was a British nurse and musician who wrote about her practices as a Midwife in the East End of London in the 1950s. And yes, if you hadn't already guessed it, they are the books that the BBC Telivision show Call The Midwife are based on. I haven't gotten very far through the book yet even though I've had plenty of time, my mind keeps on forming a barrier against any relaxation and never fails to remind me of other things I should or could be doing. But I love books, my childhood was spent either with my head between the pages of a good book or up a tree pretending I was in one. Books now wait for me before bed on the side table, silhouetted by the table lamp above. By then I'm usually too tired to carry through more than two or three pages, and for me once I pick up a book I like to read it through to the end without putting it down or it seems I can't enjoy it as much. But then it's over too quickly and I'm eager for more! Which wont be a problem with this one, thanks to Worth, she has more books waiting for me to pile into!
Today I'm almost over this bug, Rohan seems a lot better, he's running around, singing, dancing to his shows, permitting the odd dizzy spell that we both get from time to time still. We're both up and down in temperature and tiredness, but it's 12x better than we were a couple of days ago. I can actually stand up for long periods of times now, my back doesn't feel like it's been smashed in, nor do my muscles ache around my belly any more. Rohan has spent the morning back and forth from the bedroom running his cars over my back as I rest, it was quite nice actually. Great way to get a free massage, was a bit disappointed when Ralph called him into the other room thinking that he might be bothering me.
We're taking it day by day, it would be nice to be back to my somewhat normal self, but for now I will just take comfort in the fact that Rohan seems to be doing so much better inside and out.

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